I want to be Issac nnnnn Newton if not Sir

it's unbelievable, no astonishing that, how people are able to accomplish so much in such a small life
what are these people made of .. किस मिट्टी के बने होते हैं
Mozart .. Shakespeare .. Galileo ... Rabindranath Tagore... Mahatma Gandhi .... Mother Teresa ... Newton (of course) .. Leonardo Da Vinci ... Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
arrrrrrrrrrghhhh .. and the list is end less
and where am I in this end less list ऐसा बनने के लिए क्या करना पड़ता है
they did not have a full time employment or were they were employed full time with what they did ... इतना वक़्त कहाँ से लाते हैं यार
साला f**in यहाँ तो इनका बनाया, इनका लिखा, इनका किया और इनका बोला भी भेजे में नहीं घुसता
what in the world let Sir Issac Newton to discover gravity .. then blah then blah .. then the Calculus just to solve his own problems (now that's a big problem for us)
and Monalisa का Vinci .. he was painter, scientist, philosopher, mathematician blah blah blah and what not ... I wonder to what extent these people were able to think
I find myself so minuscule .. (I am a grain in the mosaic anyways)
struggling day in and out to make ends meet (some times of shoe laces :) ) ... running after money (ratnam) .... क्या रक्खा ऐसी ज़िन्दगी में ... किसके काम अगया में (ख़ुद के भी नहीं)
ख़ुदकुशी और ख़ुद-ख़ुशी (हाहाहा)
not a tiny little .. spec of an accomplishment (except cooking dinner for my self - atleast that is satisfactory)
yes that is it .. . Factory is the word
साले ये सब के सब factory थे .... magicians in my world
where the hell did they get the time .. was the world running at super slow motion when they lived normally or they did their things at the speed of sound or perhaps light
how were the conditions then .. dint they got to the office .. dint they have other normal work to do . .which normal people do to feed them selves. (I put this in a rather picturesque way, the irony of my life .. I came to Mumbai for a life, I am hardly able to make a living)
people are able to compose music, write books (epics), lead the world, .. little diversion here .. lets test Newton once .. give him a challenge and imagine .. IF NEWTON WENT TO OFFICE (hmm wat say!!!!!)
Lets see all in a days work
morning Newton wakes up - (does what normal people do/ I hope he had time for that or at the least nature forced him to ... gravity you know)
he fights through the crowd, reaches the favorite hawker for his favorite breakfast ,, shit !!! wat da hell --- sorry साहब इडली आज से 16 रुपये प्लेट है, दो दिन पहले ही रेट बढ़ाया है, कांदे बटाटे का भाव बहुत बढ़ गया है
Newton says - ला भाई दे, और कहाँ भाग के जाएंगे ॥ o shit!! 94 aagayi be .. ये रख भाई पैसे (माँ की आँख आज नाश्ता भी नसीब नहीं होगा)
Newton looks at his watch - 9:35 shit .. boss - कहाँ थे बेटा, बहुत दिनों से देख रहा हूँ (Newton did not face a creature like boss in that age.. I am sure)
so many presentations to make, why the heck did I go for a movie last night (बेन***डी) कल का भी काम बाकी है (these words were not in Shakespeare's vocabulary nor Premchand's .. hmm any ways)
आधी इडली breakfast में और आज लंच भी स्किप करना पड़ेगा
2:30 presentation (with tea or coffee - the necessary evil)
boss - wat the fuck is this, Newton बेटा , i expected a little more, no no a lot more .. this is all crap
where are you headed and you would win a client with this shit (कौनसी स्कूल से पढ़े हो बे, दिमाग घर पे रख के आये हो क्या)... and I am just being nice to you .. this is dust bin material all rubbish (shove it up .. u know where)
Newton - sir but(t)
Boss - you are right my boy ... now get lost .. get this presentation done by tomorrow (put some thought behind this) I dont care if you sleep in the office
Newton (to cigarette and tea - the necessary evils) - में ज़िन्दगी का साथ निभाता चला गया ... ..... यार आज बॉस ने बजा दी (भडवा साला) ... ख़ैर need है बेटा ... गधा भी बाप होता है (just make ends meet)
9:30 pizza order करदे यार, abbey Nikhil you are leaving
Nikhil - buddy you are a bachelor, I've got a family to take care of (hmm .. another new age Newton)
Newton - पर बहुत सारा काम है बे .... vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooom
Newton - लग गयी मदर*******डी (another word from out of the Shakespeare's box)
Nikhil - abbey g***du wake up, Newton you slept in the office ... जा कर मुह धो ले, हरी साडू आता ही होगा अपनी बजाने (घर में बीवी बजाती है)
take some handouts for hari saadu (heheheh) ...
10:oo meeting - handouts slapped on Newtons face (we will see this in next appraisal) .. his heart fell (yes because of the gravity .. gravity of situation)
Hello Newton --- how many sleepless nights have you had btw (of course a question to both the Newtons) ----- old Newton (oldton heheheheh) - his dreams gave him sleepless nights
Newton --- his nightmares did, nightmares of making a mark, of buying a car, of buying a house of blah of blah hmm financial planning (also includes planning the income you want to save tax for) of his future, of the future of the kid he doesnot have right now of blah of blah (he is so loan-ly) ... so much to accomplish other than gravity, space, planets and calculus and don't forget the expectations of his parents, peers, of his family to be of his boss of his blah blah .. (हगने की भी फुर्सत देंगे क्या)
-------
अरे ये करने से क्या फायदा, दुनिया बस नफा-नुक्सान देखती है
ज़िन्दगी नहीं है कोई प्रोग्राम है जैसे
सिर्फ कुछ करने के लिए कुछ कर नहीं सकते क्या (just for the sake of doing)
अब्बे हर चीज़ के पीछे target का बम
अरे कोई तो गीत होता मेरे नाम का
ये चाहिए वो चाहिए, ऐसा वैसा चाहिए
बस साला हर जगह नाप तोल, ये उससे अच्छा उससे बेहतर
कोई टार्गेट का बम लगा हो जैसे
सच कहता हूँ, ये तारीफ़ का भूखा शेर एक दिन इंसान को खा जायेगा
और कोई गीत न होगा मेरे नाम का
क्या बकवास है, भाड़ में जाए साली दुनिया
अरे कितना उम्मीदों का बोझ है, कब तक ढोऊंगा में
सच कहता हूँ, सांस भी पूछ कर लूँगा कुछ दिनों में मैं
और कोई गीत न होगा मेरे नाम का

मतलबी दुनिया साली , हर बात का मतलब ढूंढती है
बाल में खाल हो जैसे
हट यार, क्या खोना क्या पाना क्या हासिल वासिल
सिर्फ करने के लिए कुछ नहीं कर सकते क्या (just for the sake of doing)
और कहते हैं कर्म किये जा फल की चिंता न कर
अरे यार आखिर क्या किसको करके दिखाना है
सब जगह टार्गेट का बम लगा हो जैसे
ज़िन्दगी कोई प्रोग्राम हो जैसे

the world without the cup

What a feeling....so proud to me an Indian!!!!

Now lets be honest,Hw many of u guyz cried.. Khushi ke aasoon..

All the people out there- let's come together n cheer up for our team...Jeetega bhai jeetegaa....apna Bharat jeetega!!!!!!!!!!!!

U Malinga - why do u have to run to just throw the ball? U can even stand & throw the ball... What the fucking illegal bowling action he has

Bharat Mata ki Jai
... and finally

Dhoni ko kaun taal sakta hai?

above are few of the posts commonplace on the facebook
the nations' on street, this game makes people "patriotic" .. and people suddenly feel proud to be an Indian,
what if we lost .. you are no more the proud Indian

for me Tendulkar got out cheaply, MSD scored the crucial runs, he hits a six India wins the cup, he takes all the right decisions, the media goes "captains knock" .. "the best Indian captain" ... and blah blah
Poonam Porn Pandey (the shit face) will be the media darling for a while
Dhoni the new poster boy of Indian cricket, Tendulkar cant you peak on time
this fucker gets all the lime light, just for an innings, people forget your 20 years of service and contribution to Indian cricket, just because of this moment in history
flush the cup in the loo, I so hate it
this is how people think, they will forget and the new ruler (MSD) will rewrite the history and the media will brainwash Tendulkar out of peoples memory, I am not finding faults
a die hard Tendulkar fan, I can not imagine cricket with out Tendulkar, could have scored 50 the least, fuck Dhoni
I am so frustrated, I so hate it

the Mass bakwaas

Energy can never be created can never be destroyed .. but can be transformed from one form to another

In my recent research on real estate i was faced with a question (a dilemma actually) .. is the mass on earth increasing .. and i let my mind fly where ever it could reach

the only thing that earth receives from universe is energy (apart from few meteoroids/ asteroids - and all the steroids ;)) .. in form of light form sun moon stars planets etc heavenly bodies
the only thing it gives back to the universe is the terrestrial radiation (apart form sporadic satellites).. again in form of light or energy

so the only thing shared is the energy .. if we consider (from my last knowledge) that photons have a mass .. so the net addition from giving and taking is the mass of photons left on the earth that it does not give back -- like the balance/ surplus of payments.

lets come back to the planet earth .... all the living beings reproduce (sexually or asexually) they consume they excrete .. their offspring consume and excrete .. forget consumption, the DNA (which to my knowledge is the most fundamental block of life) it also comes from somethings that exist on earth .... the earth has the same resources it had since its arguable birth
so if some of the living beings proliferate others would be decimated (rather exterminated)

now to the real estate problem (one of the many many human problems) .. we dig we make a mountain .. we break a mountain we make a mountain . .. we dig we make land on water
bottom line ... Adam is the agent of degradation and aggradation .. so if the population grows the way it is .. we end up more with holes than the houses on face of the land (not so beautiful .. han!!!) .... or may be a single multistory building just before the doomsday .. or may be the funny mind is able to find some alternatives
(बेक़रारी ने मुझे अविष्कारी बना दिया ) .. the question still remains... if all the mass in the world is exploited by single specie (sooner or later) ..for its consumption, reproduction (DNA), housing, blah blah blah .. so what do we have at the end .. a giant ant with the earth's mass in its stomach .. replacing the earth in the universe
isn't this scientific

Dissemination of Knowledge

It is just amazing just how one can draw parallels between things we understand and the things we try to understand (may be thats the way a human brain functions)
a thing or two that corporations can learn from formation and sustainability of civilizations and cultures is that they were written down/ noted and then passed on for generations to come.
they had very clearly stated foundations (founding principles -- mission vision ... don't know about strategy)
it will be very fruitful to know and understand .. what characteristics made these fundamentals last for an infinitesimal ( if I may call it) time .. or simple made them time less/ immortal (सनातन - from where the time begins to where the time would end)
were they popular .. or some very un-populist in nature ... but had the most noble motto in the womb ... i.e. welfare of living being
was it the faith element they were able to build .. what made people to put faith into a practice, a saying or into a person for that matter
I am a strong believer that religions were written .. the people (the drafting committee) were very good psychologists, they were able to breakdown to the very basic elements of human thinking brain .. they were so far sighted that they understood what changes would be brought in the coming times due to changes in environment and what changes the very creative human being would be able to impose on the planet. they had an amazing art of story telling .. few characters strewn around the morals .. which are easily digested as kinder garten fairy tales
I would also argue that the most immortal of the religions would be the most liberal ones .. the one who were open to accept the changes (I admire the constitutions . .which are very democratic in nature .. open to amendments .. farsighted enough to accommodate the changing needs of the society ... not a Hitler style "Mein Kampf" which was made a text book and people were made to swallow and follow it unconditionally WITH OUT A QUESTION)
one more characteristic of the long lasting cultures/ civilizations would be .. 'the openness to the arguments' which brings on the best minds at work and a path of 'arguably the best' is laid for the society . .i.e. again open to change.

so what can corporations and civilizations have in common (for all this blah blah)
1. both are public bodies
2. both have perpetuity as the fundamental (directive) principle
3 .both have growth at the center of their agenda (I love this punch line form Reliance 'Growth is life')
4. both have a mission, vision .. and different people at helm have different strategies (another characteristic - leaders keep changing and interpret the culture differently)
5. both need human aspirations (i would call fear& greed - again arguably these are the two only basic human traits just above the basic needs of रोटी कपडा और मकान) aligned to the overall VMS

so what can be done .. lay down the most basic fundamentals... pass them on generation to generation to give them perpetuity and a liberal outlook of adapting with times .. make sure they have the characteristics of a सनातन culture

हिसाब

मेरी ज़िन्दगी और में अक्सर एक दूसरे से सवाल करते हैं

के मैं अपनी ज़िन्दगी से परेशां हूँ या मेरी ज़िन्दगी मुझ से

क्या गुज़रा और क्या कर गुज़रे .. अपनी ही ग़लती थी

बिना नब्ज़ पर हाथ रखे ज़िन्दगी से पल पल का हिसाब माँगा

ज़िन्दगी की धुप से रूह ख़ाक हो जाती है, ईमान झुलस जाते हैं

लहू और पसीना सूखा जाता है, फिर अरमान क्या चीज़ हैं जी

अरमान तो धुवां होने ही थे .. अपनी ही ग़लती थी

ख़्वाब भी भला कभी हक़ीकत होते हैं .. हमने ज़िन्दगी से एक सच्चा ख़्वाब माँगा

टेढ़ी मेढ़ी दुनिया में ये सीधी सपाट ज़िन्दगी ... जद्दोजहत इतनी के दम निकलने पर भी दम न मिले

.. अपनी ही ग़लती थी .. ज़िन्दगी भी तो ख़ाली ही हाथ है ...

हमने ज़िन्दगी से दम न माँगा .. रंग औ बू औ रुबाब माँगा

Forget Nattha .. Here Comes KATTHA

an initiative by Captain Vadi (Nilesh Tiwari) for a Balaghat Live our own version of Peepli Live and this one liner from कालू (Ashish Gupta) brings me back to my blog after .. so long .. but Hail Sarru ..
to start with - forgive us our spellings (any waz English is a democratic language:))
this is how it started
---------------------------
Do u ppl know tht Sarru was offered the role of NATHHA in Pepali Live but due to unavailablity of date's, as he was in a transitional phase from Tata Indicom to MTS and from Pune to Mumbai he refused Amir Khan politely.

But don't worry u all Sarru fans who can't wait to see his bellbottom pants(stitched for him exclusively by Chammen Tailors,Balaghat) and his gorgeous blond/kathha colored hair on silver screen. The wait is about to get over in Balaghat Live the sequel to Pepali Live......

To be continued...

P.S. Plz contibute generously to the story line with all ur wild imagination for Balaghat Live (Nissu especially u).
Regards
Vadi
----------------------------------- then on chat

me: yaar maine do saal se Blog karna chhod diyahai

Vadi: Kya baat kar raha hai bhai

5:17 PM me: uske liye bahut free time chahiye

ghar par net nahi hai

Vadi: Duniya pe aisa julume kyu

me: ab to Nattha ghar aagaya hai

ab to net connection lunga hi nahi

5:18 PM nahi to pure ghar bhar me led hi led

Vadi: Hahahahah

LOL

ROTFLL

5:19 PM Yarr we will jus post the same thing which I wrote in the SMS

me: aauka

Vadi: And let the ppl comment on tht

5:20 PM As it is saala laundo ke beach koi

Connectivity he nahi raha gaiy hai

5:21 PM Every one is in his own world

9 minutes

5:30 PM me: "the film was rechristened Peepli Dead .. after Sarrus' inclusion"

5:32 PM Sarru can beat Rajni - Ball Street General

5:33 PM Sarru - who's Rajni

Whats Rajni can i fuck it??

Vadi: Hahahah

5:36 PM me: Sarru meets Rajni .. and says .. Tu kyu hai??

5:37 PM Vadi: Rajani say's ROBOT

me: Sarru can kill death ... Sarru stopped working . .and there was recession

Vadi: Sarru: do u hav a hole

5:38 PM me: Sarru farted and caused Great Depression

Vadi: Robot: how many do u need...

me: hahahhaa

Sarru .. the number you have + 1

5:39 PM Sarru bought the whole world for 1 rupee .. caused inflation

Vadi: Sarru: so tht I can spit my gutka/khhara in the other one

me: hahaha

5:40 PM then the song "Mehangai"

Vadi: Sarru: u see its called multitasking

5:41 PM me: yes I'll fuck u in the other holes and spit my kharra in the one left

Vadi: Sarru Saieeya to khu hi kamaat hai Khaara Dayan khaaye jaat hai.....

5:42 PM Khaara Dayan, Quater Dayan

me: Sant Kabir is writing a book on Sarru .. after death

5:43 PM he's so inspired

Sarru can make a Maulana write Urdu left to right

(then make him understand too)

5:44 PM Vadi: Sarru to OSAMA

me: e iodex laga de

ungli tod de yaar

Vadi: Why did u distroyed Twin Tower

me: tum 50 log mere left taang ki chingli khich do

5:45 PM Vadi: Osama speech less

me: Osama puked because Sarru opened his mouth

5:46 PM Vadi: Sarru: if u whould hav given me 1 yrs time, n unlimited supply of Khhara....

5:47 PM me: Ek baar Sarru commitment deta hai to .. phir .. sirf chaini khaini ke aagey jhukta hai

gaay chaap bhi chalta hai

Vadi: I whould hav jus spited on the pillars of both the towers it whould hav fell automatically

me: hahahhahaha

5:48 PM Sarru spitted something red .. then the life on earth had blood running through their bodies

Sarru ka ek massa gir gaya to Jupiter ban gaya

5:49 PM Vadi: Sarru influenced the whole generation of vampires

5:50 PM me: Sarru spitted and the vampires licked

Vadi: But the were misled by the Khhara spit as blood

me: Humans were saved

thanks Sarru

Sarru sent God on earth .. so that we do not pray him

(he's so humble)

5:51 PM Vadi: Sarru sent both Bhagavan & Paan

5:54 PM me: Sarru could not save Jesus from crucification ... usko pet me GES ban gayi thi .. woh 5 min ke liye Sandas gaya tha

5:55 PM he regrets till date .. althogh he caused the resurrection

5:56 PM Sarru's Pan ka shop servs on a PAAN India basis

5:58 PM Rajni to Sarru - you are an asshole!!

Sarru to Rajni - you are a whole ass .. i like you .. dont MIND ITT ;)

6:00 PM the verdict on Ayodhya is delayed ... the Top Brass is requesting Sarru for a permission to build his temple (a PAAN DUKAAN) on the site

6:01 PM Gita. Kuraaan, Bible etc were earlier called - Sarru the life of a Pan vala ... Sarru humbly asked to wipe his name off .... like Shri Haribansh Rai Bacchan said (बैर कराये मंदिर मस्जिद ... मेल कराये पान वाला)

6:02 PM where are you .. oh its time to pray Sarru ... me too

6:04 PM Sarru can slap a fine on fine .. and its fine with fine :)

and the fine says its fine

6:05 PM Sarru never blesses people using the left hand .. it bears the scars of preparing KHARRA with CHUNA

6:09 PM chal bhai .. time to leave

6:11 PM Vadi: Hale SARRU....

story and the blog will continue ..................

Thanks for your valuable views as the discussion is getting to hot to handle in SMS will advise our expert blogger Nissu to plz start a Blog string by the same name and contribute to all our intellectual uplifting
The comments from die hard fan's of Sarru:-

@Arpit:The movie should be globally released at shyam talkies (air cooled) Balaghat and primer party at locally admired naka par hotel garra .

@Nissu:The film could not proceed- as suicide comitted suicide after hearing that Sarru was offrd that role

@Prabhat:Hilarious man...it can also be named..tillu live

Some more views

@neeraj: sponsors are sonker panthela, bhubali hotel.

(For all the ppl from Rest of India basically Non-Balaghaties, Sonker Paanthela & Bahubali Hotel are like German Bakery & Joshi Vadewala of Pune)

Some more pearls of wisdom

@Kalu:Shyam takes Itwariganj (sistr concern of Madras takiz) proudly presents...4get Nattha, aa gaya SARRU KATTHA..Live in all comin sequels..Katangi live, Khara live, Bonkatta live, Bagadmara live, Charegaon live n Dhimartola Live.

@Mama:Dialog: 2 bund kathhe ki kimat tum kya janoo ramesh babu.

Chuna kathha maango tou pan denge bhtera maango tou gand me denge.

@Pissu:Sarru ki KATHHA kahani. hamne suni bundele harbolo ki zubani

@P Kangi: We can get the chamhar frm bus stand to craft special sharp edge shose with zip as well.

@ Ghaamu:For the upcoming movie asati chat bhandar wishes to become food & beverage partner to the movie and endorse sarru as brand embasdor for its pani puri.also pavan travels confirmed as travel partner to the movie showcasing Balaghat to the world.

Regards
Vadi

@Pissu: Kubdi Kankaria presents KALU THE RIPPER. With titlating item no. ..aurato ko izzat do ..wo bhi tumhe izzat de dengi.. Punch line - anty kapde meri hi dukaan se lena. Warna KALU phad dalenga. Also starring BILLA The Chindi villian. Brought 2 u by DODAFONE.

@Pissu:Bair karaye Mandir Masjid - mel karaye PAANVALA

@Pissu:Only one song in this wrld suits KATTHAs mood. Thehre hue paani me kankar na maar savri man me halchal si mach jaye re bavri

@Lamaha:(due to some unavoidable reasons, he was not able to send the msg so he called me up to contribute). "Sarru goes to Amaaghat with the heroin (still to be shortlisted lot of proposal's are coming from Budhi/Bhatera), some gunndas create nuisance, Sarru gets rogered but suddenly he realize that he is having khhaara from sonekar paan, he gobbles it down in 1 go and here comes the 'KAATHA MAN'

Regards
Vadi

more to come ...... KATTHA never sleeps .. KATTHA is infinite ...
Kattha's PC takes 27min & 16secs to upload (as informed by Kalya) .. it gives him the updates of Universe

ऊट पटांग !!!

10:38 AM me: BEautiful day kal tha

10:39 AM Kalu: abey saale autistic...

me: hona chahiye

kuch bhi khatam nahi hoga

par Duniya khatam hogi

sabko shanti chahiye

10:40 AM par sab ladte rehte hai

Taliban India se sirf 12km duur hai

DOOMS DAY is closing in

Earth population has increased to a level that the Earth cant support any mote

more

10:41 AM we will fight

fight is what is natural

rest is fake

un true

pretentious

10:42 AM mankind desires peace with power .. with current situation .. its like haivng the cake and eating it too

we can have either peace or power

10:43 AM there's no end to terrorism

GREED & FEAR

we will kill

as we are destined to

we will kill out of GREED

out of FEAR

the land is destined to DOOM

10:44 AM even if TALIBAN rules the world or USA for that mattere

they shall fight amongst themselves

and finally the END is inevitable

10:45 AM be AUTISTIC .. just to lessen your sufferings

be prepared for the WORST

the world is going to END .. sooner or later

10:46 AM learn to fight .. because even for peace we have to fight

Kalu: haramkhor...pagaliya gaye ho bey??

me: learn to kill .. as for survival we have to

there's no option to

Stone age is closing in

sooner or later

10:47 AM dont try to find reasons .. its human nature

Kalu: abey bhai ab tak tera ek word bhi nahi padha hu...ruk oopar ka padhne de fir aage kuch likhna

10:48 AM me: try to find reasons the answer is always YOU .. you will become grouse

start Hating mankind

try to find out a way to minimize the sufferings

DIE SAFELY and EASILY

the end is coming closer

10:49 AM THE DAY

i am finding ways to DIE without pain . .with out sufferings .. become AUTISTIC

10:50 AM no chance for GREEN and bear it .. (no trees any more) so GRIN and bear it

10:51 AM Kalu: abey chup ho ja mere baap...abhi padhunga baad me

me:bye