लक्ष्य नहीं क्षितिज है !!!!!

मन हारकर कहता, लक्ष्य नहीं क्षितिज है 

फिर उत्साहित, यह अंत नहीं क्षितिज है!!!!

मैं किन्कर्तव्यविमुध, थक कर चूर 

मैं जितना समीप पहुँचता, लक्ष्य उतना ही दूर 

यह लक्ष्य नहीं क्षितिज है......

पर थमना नहीं, रुकना नहीं, थकना नहीं 

चलते रहना, लड़ते रहना 

जीवन का ध्येय है, बढ़ते रहना 

हिम्मत कर सहसा यह मन कहता 

यह अंत नहीं क्षितिज है यह अंत नहीं क्षितिज है ......

life beyond 'E'

I thought love and hatered are both, constructs of mind. I am generally very practical and analytical in approach. but this time all the philosophies, fundamentals and theories of mine have gone for a toss. it has happened to me before, but this is the worst situation i am in, it was never so intense before. this could have been infatuation, worse an obsession, but i will 

fight it all out, it irritated me, how can 'E' be in priority above all i have to do. but last three months have been... i have gone crazy.... i dont know what to do I wake up and weep, already was crying in my dreams, i taste my tears while i bathe, i weep wen i sleep and could hardly sleep. It reminds me, when as a kid, i ran pillar to post, when i did not find my Papa around, i cried, i wailed i yelled, i screeched. the only things thats probably changed is the physical reactions yet awating their turn, i dont have an idea what i'll do. all that has been affected is my mental state, i have gone nuts, bolts totally dissembled. i m broke. i have lost appetiete, lost interest in almost every thing, every thing around myuniverse has gone for a toss. i can not concentrate on any thing

all i think all the time is 'E'.

may be seeing 'E' every day will make me happy i see 'E' every where, in every face, am so afraid i've stopped lookin at peoples faces. weekdays have been very bad i thought weekends would be respite when i meet up with my friends, but worse it just does not escape my mind, i dont enjoy talking to my friends anymore, i do laugh but superficially, because that's what i was known to do the best. a mention of 'E's' name and i lose my self, i can do nothing but think of 'E'.... i am not blaming 'E' for this,i can never blame people for what's going wrong with me,  as it is none of the fault of 'E' may be i am not, i dont know what to say.

wen i donot see E, i repent, wen i see E,my heart beats faster i just want to escape the situation. wen i dont think of 'E', i realise that i m still thinking of 'E'. In all the three cases i m drawn

deeper into the mire, there's no escape.

may be there is, should i say it all to 'E'or any body, will that make me feel lighter, well it does not make a big difference to me i am a loser, a born loser, i can face rejection, shame, disgrace

any thing, but i still think of 'E', it shall shatter the whole world around 'E'. and to friends "tell your secret to the winds, but dont blame them for telling it to the trees".i just can not be selfish

either the secret dies by it self or shall be set on fire with me.

i havent faced such a dilemma earlier, but i shall not give up. more than that, i feel i donot deserve 'E', luck to have known 'E' i dont believe in luck n rebirth, but beliefs flushed,

may be in my next life, yes i want to be reborn, worthy enough for 'E'....for this time i want the lady luck to treat me as i've treated her, by ignoring me, i have nothing to give to 'E' ... 'E' is just too good for me, E is a thousand dreams . 'E' is so good that 'E' has the world to choose from, i doubt if i deserved 'E's friendship, but i will find none better than 'E'

if somebody asks me whos 'E', well i've already given an answer "either the secret dies by it self or shall be set on fire with me." i dont know where the life takes me from here, as i things have

always happened to me, i have been a follower of life, never could lead it. i have never been like this before, never ever cried like this if the situation doesnt kill me ... i dont have clue how to get

over it. 

एक कविता - ऊँगली

चढ़ता सूरज, भरी दुपहरी, मेज़ पे बैठा मैं और एक भारी भरकम किताब

न जाने कब आँख लग गई, शायद दिमाग ने घुटने टेक दिए

और फिर किताब से दूर एक सुहाना सपन 11

1.. दरिया किनारे खुली तेज़ हवा में, बालों को सहलाती ऊँगली

यारों से मस्ती में हाथ मिलाती ऊँगली

कभी खेत खलिहानों में नई फसल को छूती तो कभी बाग़ के फूलों की खूबसूरती निहारती ऊँगली

जवानी के जोश में आ गाड़ी को तेज़ भागती ऊँगली

कभी नाव में बैठ लहरों पर , ठंडे पानी का लुत्फ़ उठती ऊँगली

आम सेब अंगूर पेड़ पर चढ़ कर तोड़ती उनका रस लेती ऊँगली

2 ...बल्ले के हंडल को पकड़, या गेंद को फिरकी देकर मजे करती यह ऊँगली

फुटबाल के लिए तैयार, फीते कसती यह ऊँगली

कभी शतरंज की मोहरों को , कभी मंझा घोटती पतंग को इशारों पर नाचती उंगली

लकड़ी छील कर गुल्ली डंडा बनती ये ऊँगली

3.... "अरे लड़ते क्यों हो, रुक जाओ, दो तलवारों के बीच यह ऊँगली

कभी दुआ मांगती, कभी प्रणाम करती, कभ सीने से लग विधाता को याद करती यह ऊँगली

कहते हैं, कलम में तलवार से ज़्यादा ताक़त है, अंगारे भरे छंद लिखती यह ऊँगली

हिम्मत करके अन्याय के विरुद्ध उठती यह ऊँगली

४..... नौकरी लग चुकी, काम का टेंशन सर पकड़ती सर दबाती या कभी बाल नोचती ये ऊँगली

दुकान में बैठ कर दिन रात नोटों की जुगत लगाती ऊँगली ॥

ट्रेनों या बसों में लटक कर घर से दफ्तर और दफ्तर से घर चक्कर लगाती ऊँगली

काम का टेंशन घर ला ला कर , बोतलें उडेलती , शराब के ग़म में डूबती फिर बीवी बच्चों को रुलाती यह ऊँगली

सिगरेट के छल्लों में जिंदगी को धुआं करती ये मौत का इंतज़ार करती ऊँगली

क्या यही जीवन है । और क्या यूंही जीना है कार का स्टीरिंग पकड़ गहरी सोच में डूबी ऊँगली

भीख मंगाते बच्चों के हाथ पकड़ उन्हें सही रास्ता दिखलाती । भूख से बिलखते बच्चे को पीट रही दुखियारी माँ को आश्वासन देती ऊँगली ।

अरे कब तक अपना सर पकडू और कब तक अपने ही आँसू पोछूं । क्या में अकेला ही हूँ जिसे तकलीफ है

एक रोते हुए बच्चे को पुचकारती उसके आँसू पोंछ पेट में गुदगुदी कर प्यारे गलों पर हाथ फिराती नन्हे होटों पर मुस्कान लती ऊँगली । किसी वृद्ध की छड़ी की जगह ले या किसी अंधे को सड़क के पार लगाती ऊँगली

छोटे छोटे हाथ पकड़ कर अलिफ़ बे क ख ग घ सिखलाती ऊँगली

उनको समझा कर आदर्श बता कर सही जीवन जीना सिखलाती ऊँगली 5

5 ...... उफ़ यह क्या सहसा ही ट्रैफिक खुल गया , सड़क समय की रफ्तार से चलदी

शायद में ज़्यादा सो गया था । यह ऊँगली में दर्द कैसा, नीली पड़ गई है , सारा गरम उबलता जवान लहू जम गया सा लगता है

शायद मोटी किताब के तले दबी ही रह गई ऊँगली । हाँ दबी रह गई ऊँगली ।

(नि : स्वार्थ )

hey thats my profile... ( how can i limit myself to 1200 words only)

i(lets excuse modesty for few moments)am a plain JAIN.
though jainism happnd to me only at the time of my birth.(keeps happening to me some times in a year), one important thing i learnt was to sympathize, though i have pretty less sympathy towards mankind."as i believe there are more people to help, then actually those in need, yet help doesn't reach many (ironical).and the mankind is responsible for most of its problems.
I sympathize with animals(not social)"i believe there would SOON be more people trying to help animals survive, THEN THE NUMBER OF ANIMALS ACTUALLY SURVIVING ON THE PLANET"
Im a simpleTON(yes TONS of simplicity)and extraordinary(yes there's some EXTRA ordinaryNESS in me).struggling to keep track with the pace of HI-society (those who say HI instead of namaste).
Life's been a cake walk. all my problems are selfcreated and confusions selfmade.im utterly selfcritical(to the point that I usually demotivate myself).
half the time i spend grappling with these selfmade problems.half on deciding what to do.half contemplating thoughts of looking better than what i am, being taller.half of the time deciding to do what i thought. half of the time thinking to change my way of thinking... adding all these halfs i have more than (2.5) ample time on my hands.and i just do nothing. (ardent supporter of living life as it comes, and hardly making any efforts).. and they say Indians are better thinkers than they doers... so finally...on the sunrise of 26th year of my life i decided i should do something.
i started to blog."as they say EASIER SAID THAN DONE" I say "easier thought than said". failures to me are order of the day(i am not happy with them, though they r still the best thing that happened to me).though i doubt whether i learn any thing, but atleast they are the testimony that i tried something. and i regret not trying enoug in my life. at the sunset of 26th year of mu life i finally decide that "RUNNING" can solve my problems(self created)& help me not becoming other's problem (instead solving their problems)... now easier said than done and easier thought than said.. i donot run instead i let my thougts RUN and i blog..i urge people to blog..not to bury their thoughts with them self.to make their ideas immortal.
can we believe (or this is what we believe) "Optimism is arrogance, ignorance and immaturity... pessimism is pragmatism". the more we know the more fearful we become, knowledge prevents from taking risks. to know the outcomes and then take risks is bravery (some may call it foolishness, but it all depends on the outcome), you have to be passionate, that burning desire... to die for some reason. once i do it that is the only and greatest achievement i'll have in my life.
i've made lots of friends in the journey till now, i feel i donot deserve. i m not worthy of (as inherently i donot hold any responsibility towards any one, i dont want to) and it will happen one day that destiny would shear away all my friends ( i wish i am lying.. as i've done no bad but done nothing good too). this is equally true for my siblings, relatives and PARENTS. a relationship means a HUMONGOUS responsibility to me. what matters to me is not even me (as i say i have no interests & passions).. may be another reason possibly is i donot want to transfer this STD (socially transferable disease) called pessimism (i am a bundle of negativity, even my blood group is B-ve).
my life is a struggle against my pessimism (and i am not interested.. ultimately the pessimism triumphs).. and i dont want other's to be tormented by this negativity.
and a sharp contrast.. i love to laugh and smile, which is often misunderstood as optimistic behaviour. of course its not split personality disorder (like i m not writing what i m writing HA HA) but may be just underserved blessings in form of a good family and good friends.
over and above that i expect miracles from my self.. every morning i wake up healthy n beautiful to change this world for better HA HA... but friends one thing that i know is that... i need a miracle ..... because a miracle is what it will take for me to join the ranks of so called average human race.

Toyota Production System, Indian (re)Production System,KAIZEN & Continuous Improvement

now this one's a dud.....

after this, every ardent fan of Thigh Itchy oH NO nO (n of course every Japanese)

would like to f**k me (MY pleasure, but I m gender concious)

See the toyota management system (TMS) stands for bringing about increMENTAL changes

in your system, and how (dont ask me)....... question every thing existing see if some thing could be done which is innovative totalllly out of the box

but how do they start (this is real fun)

they say ask WHY five (5) times ...... why (the 6th why) only five times

('coz you are trying some ones patience) even the most calm Japanese (as they practice the art of Zen) would give it up after the 5th WHY???

and kick you where it hurts the most

and then you ask ""WHY (the 7th why) deed youuuu heeeet meee""

then he kicks you again

then you ask """WHY (the 8th why) is he behaving as if he's lost his senses (and making you loose yours)

then he kicks you again (you see it's continuous or continual ..... bhat ebher)

and when your condition is no more IMPROVING

the size of your B*****LLs show continuous IMPROVEMENT

toh baccchu whats the moron (oops moral)

i think (or do I) ther's nothing much to think bout ...... WHY (the 9th why) should you think

instead go to bed and do what we are good at ........ make some contibution to our country's POP ulation ( one place we can beat the CHINESE)

we in the COuntry are talking about GENERATION (Y) why (the 10th why)........ and our Y's dont stop even after billions (see the continual improvements)

India's two biggest contribution to the world are towards Mathematics (Aryabhatt- contributed zero to the number system)... and STATISTICS (we are good with numbers ..... so we need more numbers to play with..... so we keep on adding 'zero's' after one ( in the population) .... as if paying homage to Aryabhatt and given the M/F ratio in our country it seems we are preparing for a "Thousand Splendid SONS"

Virgin (is it)

this is a BAAD BAAD one
my recent purchase was a Virgin Mobile connection with a Handset
& on the box of VIRGIN mobile, they write
"NO SEAL, NO DEAL" ( i hope their employees dont take it too seriously)
now this is what i call quality to the core and quality taken reallly seriously
Lets view this in Indian context (and in the context of Marriage)
'no seal, no deal'
n they say marriages are made in Heaven
n ther's more to it
one Indian Advertisement crossed the limits
पहले इस्तेमाल करें फिर विश्वास करें !!!!!
(who made such an ad... GUESS for your self)
i guess that was mad(e) in AMEEEri KKAAA
those who purport " a trail n error " process
n keep going for TRIALS in the court...

One Liners once again (difficult to think more)

• हम है तो (और) क्या ग़म है
• आजकल मेरी ज़िंदगी मुझ से ये सवाल करती है, और मैं अपनी ज़िंदगी से / के मैं अपनी ज़िंदगी से परेशां हूँ / या मेरी ज़िंदगी मुझ से ????
• i like challenges as long as i m not involved
• wen i m gud i m gud wen i m bad i dont exist
• single largest contributor to inflation ---- money
• i entered the guiness book of world record for having no records for a record nnumber of days infact the number of people having no record for record number of years is a record in it self.
• my fan club has zero members i guess i should start liking my self
• Dont ask me how are youlook for ur self I am great aint I!!!
• I am god send ...... to add to people's woes
• निस्वार्थ ....... partially yours..